Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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