Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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