the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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