IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
