very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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