Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
