She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
