you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
