i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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