69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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