This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
