No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
