I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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