Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this boner is exhausting
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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