it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Shame is for Republicans.
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