just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
