Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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