ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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