your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
