Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
