This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
