plz talk dirty to me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
