Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
