Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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