You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
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