Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
