his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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