YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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