Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
