btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
