just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
