dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
