Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
