Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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