currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
