i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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