Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
