You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
