Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
