Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
