i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
did you just send me my own nude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
