I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
