It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
