So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
