What a fucking waste of an outfit
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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