I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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