Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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