i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
