No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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