Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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