Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
