WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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