I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
